Sunday, June 12th
Sunday I was off. I had a bridal shower for a really close friend. I was excited to go for the friends, food, and fun. I was nervous because I knew no one there knew yet. Except Julia, my cousin. The first person I called after Jimmy and my mom. She was my savior that day. All of my close friends were there. We are the V girls. V stands for vagina. We were in high school when we came up with it. No boys allowed! I know, it is pretty funny now. This is why we changed it to V girls. I put on a brave face through the whole thing. I sat separate from the girls. It was just Julia and I at a table. We didn’t plan it that way, but I know now that it was what I needed. We didn’t talk about it at first. It was easy to make small talk and not think about it. Julia and I talked for a little about what I had learned, which wasn’t a lot. Then as the shower came to an end, for some crazy reason, all the girls stayed except 2. We were the last ones there. All of these crazy coincidences are God. I know that. He works to help me get through this. God gives me all the things I need. I was so nervous. I don’t know why, and this was the first time I felt that way. These were my girls. We had stayed friends for over 10 years. We didn’t see each other a lot but we had so much fun when we got together. It always felt like no time had past. I hated to tell them on Tanalyn’s shower day. I hated to do that to her. This was her day. I knew I had to though. I want to tell them together, and in person. This was one of those God moments He gave me. I remember asking them all to gather around. I started by saying I have something to tell you guys and, Tanalyn, I am so sorry to do this today on your day. I was diagnosis with Breast cancer on Friday. I started to cry, then all of the sudden, I felt the biggest and best group hug of my life. We all hugged and cried for what felt like forever. This was the most amazing thing to experience. I felt the love pour all over my soul. These were ugly cries, not the pretty ones you are thinking of. 🙂 They were so supportive and wanted to know everything I knew. They wanted to help. They wanted to fix it. They wanted to take it all away. They couldn’t. We talked, and slowly the tears turned to laughter. They were going to help me through this with laughter, love, and support. Life can hurt you a lot sometimes but the people you surround yourself with help lift you up. They were all so encouraging. Everything they said will live with me forever. I was told, “You’re a bad bitch! You will kick cancers butt!” I love them all so very much.
Sunday night was stressful. Jimmy and I were so scared of the unknown. I, for the first time in my life went to Facebook and asked for prayers. I was vague and didn’t say why.